Counterattacks and Isolation

Our counterattacks isolate us. We become so invested in appearing to be perfect that we stop caring who gets hurt in the process. We continue to counterattack, no matter how much it costs other people. These are bound to be some negative effects. Eventually people leave us or retaliate in some way.

Our counterattacks also get in the way of real intimacy. We lose the ability to trust, become vulnerable, and connect at a deeper level. We have metsome patients who would rather lose everything - including their marriage, a relationship with someone they love - than risk become vulnerable.

Lifetraps and Escap!

"It is natural that Escape becomes one of the ways we cope with lifetraps. When a lifetrap is triggered, we are flooded with negative feelings - sadness, shame, anxiety, and Anger. We are moved to escape from that pain. We do not want to face what we really feel because it is too upseting to feel it." (Reinventing Your Life. written by Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko)